Dear Dad

Paula

Dear Dad My last blog was based upon this poem. This was scribbled down quickly in Mexico City, as an an immediate response to the news of my Dad's death. So if there is some repititon, it is because of this factor. August 1984 Dear Dad Thought I‘d write you a letter Can’t be there now, it’s fate Heard you’re already playin records Behind the pearly Gate I have a lot of memories, I’d like to share with you. The fun times, the good days Are what I hold so true. You weren’t a dad like all the others You were softer than the rest. I suppose, now that I’m older It was the softness I loved the best. Like the graham crackers with marshmallows You made, when I woke with fright. Why, those nasty ole monsters They left without a fight. And at bedtime, when we played “Gail’s” Or, you’d sing to help us snooze. In my heart one song prevails “Go to Sleep My Little Buckaroos” You tried, in vain to keep things calm So not to upset our Italian, Mom. Like the times you smoked, behind the trees Or, signed our report cards, with the D’s. Remember the hikes in the hills, just before dawn, You would say, "Don't get close to the squirrels, But, you can pet the fawn." My late night dates, I will never forget You, outside at midnight, getting all wet. My dates would ask, “Who the heck is that? “Why that’s my gardener, in his rain hat". But they knew it was you, much to their delight They knew it was you who was out in the night Always, taking the wind out of my sails “Really, it’s my gardener, he’s looking for snails” We had such different views toward living, And how we sparred, even on Thanksgiving I still don’t agree with the things that you’d say But we our made peace long before this day All these memories are with me, And are still so very real You were a class act from old Hollywood And all that is genteel You taught us the love of nature You gave us the gift of song, Your silly ways of living showed that humor, can keep one strong So, with these thoughts, I’m going to close now, Dad I’ve a million things to do Drop me a line when you can, Dad Love from daughter, Number Two Paula Servetti

	wolfwitch Wolf Witch	That's just beautiful! Posted by wolfwitch on Sunday, December 27, 2009 - 4:55 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Paula Paula Servetti	I thank-you, very much. I know that you have quite a colorful background, but I don't know how your relationship was with your Dad. I know that Patricia's seemed to be what girls dream of with her father. Mine, was complicated. Your continuing support spurs me on. Oh, Wolfie. Witchie-Poo! Posted by Paula on Sunday, December 27, 2009 - 5:14 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	wolfwitch Wolf Witch	My dad was/is fun. He's sort of emotionally remote & this greatly upsets my youngest sister with the little kids. My dad never had too much use for kids until they could at least ride small minibikes & play football. I will put up a picture of him holding the new baby princess. He looks like a deer in the headlights & like the kid will break. He never was really taught to be a dad, & my little sister craves Ward Cleaver. Not gonna happen in this lifetime! I know he admires me because he told me so & says I am a survivor. He's much quieter than me, but has also always been in trouble for laughing at EVERYTHING! He was a juvenile delinquent in the 1950's, started smoking at 9, he put those ugly skull tattoos on at 13 & I have no idea what year he decided not to go to school anymore. He tends to avoid conflict, where I will wade right in if I see something I don't like. He has countless stories of nuts he met on the road & stuff he almost got his ass kicked for laughing at over the years that he was a truck driver, coast to coast He's married to a woman about a year older than me. She's a Navajo & he calls me up with hysterical stories of ceremonies, etc. in conjunction with that. He's so funny!He says the medicine man is a crook. I am the most like him, outdoorsy, love to hike & bike, love to laugh. We're both very physical & love to camp & hike. He'll ride any rollercoaster anywhere, but there are a few that I am afraid of. He's a total motorhead like me, although I don't like that 1950's lowered stuff that he loves. I love Chevys, he loves Fords. He curses but not nearly as much as me. My little sister gets bummed because she just has never seen that side of him like I have. He could write a book about the stuff he does. It never occurred to him or me to hire anyone/. Both of us just take a class or just do something that we don't really know how to do, but it usually turns out ok. He calls me almost every day & here is the Christmas card he sent me LOL, who the hell sends a Christmas card like that! Posted by wolfwitch on Sunday, December 27, 2009 - 7:00 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Paula Paula Servetti	Thanks for sharing this Witchie. Your dad seems quite a charachter, Now I know where you get it from. Posted by Paula on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 12:04 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Jennie	This is great Paula..I adored my dad and he was a very special man..he replaced Randy in my kids lives since Randy was pretty much a very distance, unloving man....still is, you would think at this point in his life he might finally want to get to know them..fantasy Jenn Posted by Jennie on Sunday, December 27, 2009 - 7:09 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Paula Paula Servetti	That is very special. Men and nurturing is quite an intriguing subject. Thank-you Jen. Posted by Paula on Sunday, December 27, 2009 - 8:40 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Paula Paula Servetti	Bobby, I am extraordinarily touched by what you wrote . . . as you, a certain man, reading about a girl and her father. Thank-you, Posted by Paula on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 12:01 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	wolfwitch Wolf Witch	Well what do you think of the school of thought that essentially says we try to fix what was wrong with our childhood in our adult relationships? For instance if a person wanted to be the center of someone's universe after being neglected by a parent & now seeks that in all subsequent relationships? Or if a parent was incredibly flawed in a certain area, trying to "fix" that in our adult relationships? Posted by wolfwitch on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 8:28 AM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Paula Paula Servetti	Speaking only for myself, that is a school of thought that I do not adhere to. We are all flawed, and I would not even presume that I were of such perfection of knowledge, to be able to "fix" anyone, or anything. And fix to what standard? I do feel that we are held captive to dramas played out in our childhood, that mold our character to some extent. But it is within so called "flaws" that we find understanding and love. To want to be the center of someone universe, or even our own, is presumptuous and unhealthy for the other person and for ones self. Therein, lies, all the fallicies of what love is about. In my humble feelings, of course. Ha! I am certainly no expert in that field. Posted by Paula on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 11:49 AM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	wolfwitch Wolf Witch	I think it is subconscious, but I just wondered what you thought about it all. I wonder what subconscious reasons there might be for the partners we choose. I'm always wondering & fascinated. Posted by wolfwitch on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 5:21 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Paula Paula Servetti	I had to rewrite this as I spelled person wrong. I type too fast.//// Ok. Here is my big answer . . .I don't know or understand the chemical attraction that definily exists for each and every person and why we fall in love with the people that we do. Posted by Paula on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 7:28 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Paula Paula Servetti	As far as raising kids differently, well, again, I'm no expert. Life throws so many curves, who can say? I will say that I raised my children very liberally, with no religion. I remember Shaunti at 16 years old, in Mexico, where Catholicism is everywhere, asking me " So what exactly did this guy, Christ, do?" Posted by Paula on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 12:13 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	wolfwitch Wolf Witch	And by that age, what did Shaunti think of the whole explanation? Did she think it made sense? Posted by wolfwitch on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 5:22 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	Paula Paula Servetti	Oh you mean Christ? Well, I really didn't go into it much I was brushing my teeth when she asked me. I think that I muttered something like, Well some people think that he is God. I personally, don't. I know it must have been something like that. and then I told her to read up on it, and ask me more later. Posted by Paula on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 7:33 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

	freeartachim Achim De Teba	This Dear Paula touch my Heart....... I stay in Peace with my Father - he died 1986 - since 5 Years, step by step, I understand more and more why he was do like he was if I was a child. Love to you dear Paula. Posted by freeartachim on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 1:20 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]

Paula Paula Servetti

Achim, How difficult it is, each time we discover a little more understanding about our fathers. Also, frustrating, and sad that we can not, ever tell them, those things. It makes one wonder. It makes one cry. Thank-you for your feelings. Posted by Paula on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 1:35 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]