Sunday, May 30, 2010

A Curious Metamorphose / Ch. 6 / Pt. 2 / We Shall Talk @ Pt . 3 / Marco Radich

Paula


THERE ARE TWO BLOGS ON THIS PAGE

However, the next day I would again, sit at my desk and look up at Sister Marie Doulette, as she read from the little red book.

Somehow, I managed to separate my daytime activities from my nights with the devil. To this day I don’t know quite how I bore up against the strain, the thing unnerved me so . . . the utter joy and thrill that he got from stimulating my fear. Strangely, more than the fear of him, was the fright, as the light switch on the wall was clicked off, by the hand of my very own father; turning my bedroom into a chamber for the beast. Left to the darkness, my sister would fall asleep easily enough, but I would sit, and in spite of my self, my senses immediately tunneled towards his spot. As soon as my eyes adjusted, inexorably, I would see him, up in the left hand corner.


Furious eyes, large and luminous were the singular absolute. Otherwise, there was no precise shape to him . . . more so, just a malevolent presence. If anything, he was a gaseous vapor, or a quickening in the walls. Sometimes, he moved, in waves beneath the plaster towards me, until he was quivering above my head, with his ghastly eyes, bearing down.

“We shall talk . . . you know who I am.”

These were his first words to me, words that were not in the red book. Prior to that first speaking, I only sensed what he was saying, as in mental telepathy. His voice was raspy, slow, and apathetically low; and just as I grew accustomed to this, his tone would then turn into a maniacal, screeching, staccato.

I sat still, frozen, whimpering to myself, wishing to shrink under my blankets. He would have none of that. He knew, and I knew that it would be just a matter of time before he entered my body. In the meantime, he was rather enjoying himself. Taunting me . . . in the ways of those that do, that are without a hint of humanity, or soul. This went on for weeks, after Sister Marie Doulette had finished the red book.

Now we enter the realm of good vs. evil. Was he truly wicked through and through? Or, did I make him, what I wanted him to be; an embodiment of my conception of evil. My young mind was probably my worst enemy, for it was a wanderer. I had no real knowledge of wickedness per se, save for what the nun had read and too, what I was learning in my catechism class. In Catholicism, the Devil, or Lucifer, the beloved fallen archangel, is made out to be as real and as vivid as Christ, and the Holy Trinity. And, to claim that I conquered the devil, through the powers that be, would be dishonest. There was no calling out for Christ, or the holding up a crucifix to him as he shriveled up and dissipated in fiery pain. For none of those ultimate, heroic constructs took place. For the most part, he went just upped one night and disappeared.

MusicDiva
Music Lover

You have amazing recall of all the emotions that you felt as a child, and I find myself feeling the fears and hearing the changing voices and 'shrinking myself under the blanket' along with you...held captive by your vivid narrative.

I have a feeling that you would be an awesome writer even if you were doing fiction...kudos, kiddo!
Posted by MusicDiva on Friday, January 29, 2010 - 12:53 AM
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Paula
Paula Servetti

That is a good compliment Anna thank -you. Well, I think we've gotten over the devil hurdle, so you can rest easy on that one Ha!

Posted by Paula on Friday, January 29, 2010 - 10:17 AM
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wolfwitch
Wolf Witch

Too bad somebody wrote the Exorcist before you had a chance to.
I wonder if most kids go through this at a period of time? Or if only those with a heavy dose of religion. Hmmmm....

Posted by wolfwitch on Saturday, January 30, 2010 - 8:45 PM
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Paula
Paula Servetti

Here is some interesting info for you. Because of your age (ahem) and others that are not old enough to know anything much about devil possession other than The Exorcist, because it was so popular. Exorcisms have been going on for centuries. However:

8435 Roanoke Drive

A small boy from the Washington D.C. area allegedly took up residence in this house in 1949 as he waited for a very unusual procedure. Based on the child's symptoms, the Catholic Church had suggested that the only possible cure for his ailments was an exorcism. When the word "Louis" appeared above his ribs, they and his family took it as a sign that he needed to relocate to Saint Louis and, as such, took up residence here at the reported home of a relative. It was in Saint Louis that a grueling exorcism was performed that finally ended on April 18, 1949, when the boy awoke and said, "He's gone." The story would later inspire author William Peter Blatty to write the infamous best-selling novel, The Exorcist, which spawned a blockbuster film of the same name. The boy's name has never been officially released and we are going to respect his wish for anonymity.

The House's Connection
This house, owned by the boy's paternal uncle, simply served as a temporary residence for the boy before he was moved to nearby St. Louis University (see The Old Rectory at St. Louis Xavier College Church) and later, the psych ward at a nearby hospital (see Old Alexian Brothers Hospital). Supposedly, parts of the exorcism were performed at this address for two weeks before the boy ended up being moved frequently between the three locations.

Father Walter Halloran, who took part in the exorcism with Father William Bowdern, later gave his recollections to author Thomas B. Allen, who would record them in his 1993 novel, Possessed: The True Story of an Exorcism. Allen would use a pseudonym of "Robbie" for the boy's name. The book describes some of the events that took place in this home. One passage goes like this: "Something now rippled on Robbie's right leg. As Bowdern again commanded the demon to identify himself, red welts formed an image on the leg. It was, the witnesses later said, an image of the Devil."


Posted by Paula on Saturday, January 30, 2010 - 10:21 PM
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Paula
Paula Servetti

This is known as the St. Louis Exorcism.

Posted by Paula on Saturday, January 30, 2010 - 9:34 PM
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wolfwitch
Wolf Witch

I never heard of this at all. What do you believe happened now, looking back? Do you believe there was a devil in your room, or it was the product of your own overheated imagination induced by the stuff from the church? Or maybe you haven't decided?

Posted by wolfwitch on Sunday, January 31, 2010 - 12:55 PM
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Paula
Paula Servetti

I know what I saw many times, and what I heard. It was as real as this computer I am now, typing on to tell you this. No doubt about it. I also believe in the power of the minds that be, and subliminal suggestion. Imaginations are precious, from this grows the spirit of man. But, we see, this most precious part of man, the imagination, being used and abused and attacked everyday. This is a very delicate balance we live in. I am surprised that we have managed to make it thus far. People are so cruel, deceitful and self serving, and basically horrific. It is a wonder that anyone Imagines at all. I feel that the Catholic church is a huge money making evil enterprise and fucks with the minds of it's people for it's own monetary gain.

Posted by Paula on Sunday, January 31, 2010 - 2:34 PM
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MusicDiva
Music Lover

AMEN! Oops...bad choice of words (LOL!) I should say... That is so true, Paula...money - or rather, the love and pursuit of money - is the root of all evil. Though I've known a few people who are just inherently evil and would be so for no monetary gain - Ha!

And you're also right about our minds/psyche/imagination - a whole mental sphere not fully understood or discovered. There is so much out there yet to be determined. Animals have a better use of this facility than humans...dolphins can converse seemingly with brain waves, cats seem to know when a person is in the last hours of life, and dogs can tell when a person is having a seizure. Telepathy is a force yet to be fully conceived and identified. Life as we know it may be an illusion.

Sidenote: Douglas Deen, the 'possessed' kid whose story The Exorcist was based on, grew up, married, and named his son Michael after the Archangel who supposedly delivered him from the devil. I was always fascinated by his story.
Posted by MusicDiva on Sunday, January 31, 2010 - 8:46 PM
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Paula
Paula Servetti

Thank you Anna, I am only saying what happened to me and someone might say it didn't. but they have no grounds to stand upon.
Posted by Paula on Sunday, January 31, 2010 - 9:23 PM
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scott
Kenneth s cornwall

There was an episode of the Twilight Zone, or Outer Limits...I forget which. A malevolent spirit is manifesting in the upper corner of a room. It was like a dark cloud, with lightning coming out of it.
That episode gave me nightmares for weeks. Somehow I managed to rationalize the situation and came to the conclusion it's just a tv show. But then, I didn't have someone telling me how real it is. I think most kids have thoughts like this. Does it mean the tv show was evil? Or the church...the devil exists, because you said it did. Once I learned the history behind both the Catholic church and the Church of England I turned away from organized religion, they seemed to be the very devils they were condemning.
Posted by scott on Monday, February 01, 2010 - 8:07 PM
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Paula
Paula Servetti


As I mentioned, earlier, I found that the teachings, Evil/ Satin, is given equal attention as Christ/ God. I ascertained early on, that obiously using the fear of the devil was a way of enticing Catholics to be more zealous. It is all just a money making scheme. The whole premise sucks.
Posted by Paula on Tuesday, February 02, 2010 - 12:01 PM
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Paula
Paula Servetti


BLOG TWO

I entered the fifth grade, after a long hot summer. During those months, I babysat and body surfed. I must have done some blooming, also, for when I returned to school, I was never treated the same way by people, again. It marked the time in my life, when my curious metamorphose, took place. I unknowingly went from a caterpillar to a butterfly, and lost my anonymity along with it. Even, My Uncle Louie, took whistling and calling me “Gams.” I was not prepared for the events which lay ahead. As in most Catholic Schools, we were allowed a few "free dress days," which I suppose we were to be grateful for; before the time came to mindlessly don the drab uniform. This small allowance for self expression was rare. My sister and I had two uniforms, each, consisting of a navy blue jumper, a white short sleeved cotton blouse, and navy and white saddle shoes. A navy blue beanie or a white lace mantilla was required in church, for the girls.


My mom managed to save enough for us to have a few other outfits also and that year she selected a more mature look for me. It marked the end of my frilled dresses and full petticoats. My mother was extraordinarily adept at picking out fine clothes that made a statement. Her tastes ran exquisite. So, for me, that year, she decided on two outfits, both were matching, woolen vests and straight skirts; one of Royal Blue and the other of Kelly Green. So, on the first day of school, I curled my long hair for the very first time, and wore the green outfit. That was that. Suddenly, I became the "it" girl. From day one, it was bedlam. Boys were all over and around me, flirting and pulling my ponytail, and every folder had me as Number 1. Sweetheart, on the love lists.


I was an overnight sensation, a new hit record on the Billboard Chart. Just as surprising, was the fact that every girl wanted to be my new best friend. I literally had to make a weekly accounting of - who would sit where - at the lunch table. Much to the delight of my mother, the mothers of all the girls in my class, began phoning her to set up visits for their daughters. Mom was in her element. I was stunned at what was going on, but tried to keep the peace as best I could, by fitting everyone in. It was weird, extremely weird, but, it certainly took my mind off devil possession. Even the voices left ~ for the most part.


I learned quickly that popularity meant having power over people, but it also left me as a target for jealousy. I mean people really got mad, and cruel, if I didn’t spend enough time with them. It was a most unnerving situation, but one with advantages attached. Being this “new” me, meant that I pretty much ruled the roost. And, it just so happened that a young boy who came to our school a month after the semester started, needed my attentions. His name was Marco Radich. We were told that he had fled, along with his cousin, to the United States from "the Communists in Yugoslavia." Marco was actually from Hungary, and had sought refuge in Yugoslavia before being flown out, by his rich Aunt, who lived in our Parish. She wanted them to have a chance at a better education. He was ridiculed unmercifully by the kids in the class, because he looked different and couldn’t speak English. That, just pissed me off!

.. ..

MusicDiva
Music Lover

It sounds like you were the popular girl...but with a heart. You go girl! Will you be including any pics of yourself at the different stages of your childhood?
Posted by MusicDiva on Wednesday, February 03, 2010 - 5:21 AM
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Paula
Paula Servetti

Yes I might put up a few. I had a fire here in Oregon in 1998 and my home burnt to the ground, all my photos included. So I am lucky to have the ones I have, given from friends.

Posted by Paula on Wednesday, February 03, 2010 - 11:11 AM
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scott
Kenneth s cornwall

You didn't say what year this was...but that's ok, I guess! Things in general were changing pretty fast for me when I was around the age you describe...it was the 60's. We had a german kid in my 6th grade class named Rienous Krastons...he became Krapstones real quick. He wasn't really that nice a person, so I guess he earned it...but maybe his attitude came from being different and ridiculed, it's hard to say. Kids can be very cruel sometimes without thinking about it. There was another kid in my class, Greg...I want to say Kervorkian, but at any rate, it was very similar to that. He was Armenian. Real cool kid. He had a head like Siddharta. And then there was Penny. Penny came from a very poor family, and she was the girl who was the first to need a bra...it was double jeopardy for her, the kids ridiculed her, but the boys really liked her, yet didn't really respect her all that much because she was being ridiculed. Her family was very poor in rich suburbia. Your blogs always jog a few memories of my own! It's a shame you lost those photos in a fire.
Posted by scott on Wednesday, February 03, 2010 - 7:00 PM
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Paula
Paula Servetti

Scott thank-you for asking the about the year. it was the latter part of 1957. Also, I had not made clear certain facts. You will see my few changes in the end about Yugoslavia and the fact that Marco was from Hungary and had fled to Yugoslavia, but, I didn't understand that then. I only understood what we were told in class, as Marco could not speak English, until later.

Posted by Paula on Thursday, February 04, 2010 - 2:53 PM
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scott
Kenneth s cornwall

My mom couldn't speak english when she started school. She knew a combination of greek and spanish, mostly greek, that my grandparents used when they didn't want us to know what they were saying. It was strange hearing them talk like that...we knew we were being left out when that happened! It always felt like they were talking about us. What are they saying??? Marco is a cool name...I bet that helped...
Posted by scott on Saturday, February 06, 2010 - 11:07 PM
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Paula
Paula Servetti

Well, not really, he never really got past his being different, there. Actually he continued on to the same public highschool that I did. We remained friends for a long time, as his cousin Irena, became my sister's best friends. The last I saw of him was in '88. We hear bits and pieces now and again but, people lose contact. That is why Myspace and fb is so trippy. It is a rather unique and trying experience to have parents who speak another language. Some of my friends who did found it embarrassing to a degree but shouldn't have. My grandmother was always at our house and spoke broken English,, so I got used to anyone that did so. When I went to live in Mexico, I was the one who sat at a party or dinner and couldn't join in. It was a strange thing for me. Very strange. Thanks Scott!

Afterthought, you mentioned the devil came out of a corner of the wall. in the Twilight Zone, funny, why is it usually a corner of a wall. Is it because all points meet? Ha, Who ever heard of a devil jumping out from the middle of a room. Thanks Scott.
Posted by Paula on Tuesday, February 02, 2010 - 12:17 PM
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