Sunday, May 30, 2010

Ostracised / Ch. 8 / Pt. 8 / The Office



“Sit down, Paula.” Sister Mary Carol ordered.

Uneasy, I sat in the stiff wooden chair directly across from her, just on the other side of the desk. Too close for my comfort. Her eyes caught mine and glistened with covert malice. She was after my real flesh and blood. In silence, I waited for her to stop fidgeting and fussing over seemingly pertinent papers on her desk. As she readied to hurl words at me, I felt the urge to tell her that I didn’t mind coming back when she was finished; but, thought better of it. She knew that I was suffering and that she held the apparent advantage.

Finally, she spoke. “I need to know which entrance exam you have decided to take for high school, Immaculate Heart of Mary’s, or Holy Family’s?” She hid her hands under her habit and waited for my reply.
“Well, actually neither one.” I stammered, with my back as straight as a reed. As I spoke, Sister Mary Carol put her hands on the desk and peered up at me through her bifocals. “My family has decided to send me to King Jr. High School.”
“Reeeally!” She said.

“Yes that is what they have decided.” She would never hear it from me that my parent’s didn’t have enough money for a Catholic high school. I would have rather died on the spot, then, to give that rat such a tasty morsel for her to brux over. “Yes, my older sister is in public school and she is doing great.” I wondered if it were possible for me to feel any more miserable. The truth of it was that I still yearned for affirmations from the nuns, and I hated myself for the wanting.
“I see.” Silence, engulfed the room once again, as Sister Mary Carol went back to her papers.
“Of course, I will be continuing religious instruction. My mother wants me to continue it right up to my senior year of high school.”
“You do understand that this is a very unacceptable action for a Catholic student to take. Of course our pastor shall be duly informed and your parents will be summoned for a meeting with him. I can’t help but think that this is mostly your doing, taking in your recent behavior patterns. You do comprehend the severity of your decision and the dangers you will face. I am concerned about your welfare, after all, Paula.” She gestured solemnly, as if quite pleased with herself. What, with her life of good deeds and sacrifices; she could, after all, afford me a minuscule of benevolence.
“What dangers, Sister?”
“Why, the danger of losing your faith and falling into sin and the danger of becoming pregnant in such a loose environment.” The woman of prophecy had spoken.

“Huh?” Pregnant?” I didn’t find that to be a fair remark. In fact, all the boys said, that the easiest girls were from Catholic schools! In my mind, this became a matter of defending my honor and that of my family. I decided to cross the line of no return, for this single streak of black cloth had no deep sympathies for me, at heart. “You don’t know anything about me or my morals! I have tried really hard, but you have done nothing but make my life a misery.” I stood to leave.
“Sit down! This instant!”

“I will not! I am not going to listen to another word you have to say!” I shouted and then ran out of the office, and just kept walking toward my home, first in fury, then in panic: deep raking sobs came out of my throat. Luckily, my mother was out playing bridge, and I was free to fall on my bed, seized by fear, until I was calm enough to feel like a nothing . . . and, then my mother came home. When I told her what had happened, I was shocked to find that she took my side.

“Why, that bitch!” she yelled. “How dare, she! Never mind, you’ll be out of there, soon enough. This is exactly why you are not going on to a God damn Catholic School!”

What else could my Mom say? She knew there wasn't another choice. It was an education to look at for the entire circumstance, from the beginning to end, was nothing but a big, fat charade. The state of affairs had nothing to do with anything religious or moralistic; it only had to do with money, or the lack of it.



wolfwitch

Wolf Witch

What a controlling bunch of shrews! The colossal nerve....

Posted by wolfwitch on Sunday, May 16, 2010 - 8:45 AM
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wolfwitch

Wolf Witch

P.S. You shoulda told her "but Sister Mary Hagatha, I'm in no danger of geting pregnant. I've already learned to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch from the older Catholic girls".

Posted by wolfwitch on Sunday, May 16, 2010 - 8:49 AM
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Paula

Paula Servetti

Ha! That is hysterical! If I only knew....

Posted by Paula on Sunday, May 16, 2010 - 9:24 AM
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